(updated 21 Jul 05)  

Top Ten Perks To Being Buried In Outer Space
(Our Homage to James Doohan)

The Ones That Almost Made It:

Won't have to see the movie version of "The Dukes Of Hazard". (rltowler@aol.com)

A wormhole in space beats a wormhole in the Earth. (giraffic_art@yahoo.com; casstigator@yahoo.com)

Limited supply of oxygen keeps eulogies brief. (giraffic_art@yahoo.com)

Damn near impossible for people who didn't like you to dance on your grave. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com; Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

Those tacky plastic flowers burn up on re-entry. (jaynashvil@aol.com; GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

First dibs on being hit by an asteroid that will take out the Earth. (randy@randypeterman.com)

With proper chemicals coating your body, Funeral services could offer to aim your corpse at distant worlds with primitive cultures. Thus your horrific, flaming arrival could insure you are enshrined and remembered as an Evil Alien Doom-Messiah for the many oppressive ages to come in your wake.. (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

Now you can REALLY look down on everyone. (jdh@ja-ad.com)

Just the chance of finally finding the Robinson family perks my interest. (DavidGoTribe@aol.com)

You will NEVER have a shopping mall or a carpark built on top of you. (sheafitz1@netscape.com; lynder_mh@yahoo.com)

Punk kids are gonna have a much harder time stealing your tombstone. (scalpel@aol.com; cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

You'll have to ask Carl Sagan once you get there..and find out there may be billions and billions of perks out here! (maxcel200@aol.com)

May up your chances of getting into heaven because of proximity. (amfpsych@aol.com)

The closest you'll ever become to being a star. (lacee7700@aol.com)

In a billion years people will still say, "He looks so peaceful". (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Your geek friends will have something different to talk about at the next Trekkie gathering. (shep@peoplepc.com)

Necrophiliac Aliens. Ahhhhhhhhh, yeah baby! (thedraugr@yahoo.com)