(updated 24 Mar 03)  

Top Ten Rejected Slogans For Toilet Paper Companies

The Ones That Almost Made It:

We have enough paper on the roll to go from here to Uranus. (bchbms99@aol.com)

Feels great! Less pilling! (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Imagine the crap that we go through. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

Be prepared...SH*T HAPPENS! (ikon1270@aol.com)

Our tissue is so strong and absorbent, you'll never have to wash your hands before returning to your food handling duties. (DaJakAiss@aol.com)

Like a third-world country, we take $h*t off everyone! (amazingpfil@yahoo.com)

Soft enough for your face, but strong enough for your hairy ass. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

Don't give us just any old crap -- give us yours! (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

So smooth..you'll pray for diarrhea. (Internutt9@aol.com)