Last time around we wanted you to take an existing Christmas song and keep the tune but change the holiday. Again, as last time it seemed rather fun.
Frosty the Snowman - 4th of July: Sparky the firework, was blown up in the sky, well they lit his fuse, just for their muse, and he sailed off way up high. Then one dark 4th of July night, Uncle Sam came to say, Sparky with your fuse so bright , wont you light the sky this night. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Silver Bells/New Years Eve: Silver Ball...Silver Ball..It's New Year's Eve, New York City- Dingalings..hear'em sing...Hangover time New Years Day...Hear the horns blow, traffic can't go...just a huge gridlock jam..In the air there is much air pollution..Fireworks pop, see the drunks drop..While the thousands all cram..and it's Regis, replacing Dick Clark. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Labor Day: Go rest you, weary worker bees This is your "Labor Day" Ha HAH! You can forget the name You'll be working anyway For we're the corporation And you are a helpless slob Don't call in, if you do you'll lose your job, lose your job, If you call in "sick" you're going to lose your job! (email@example.com)
The Sleighing Song - Easter: Just see those colored eggs and the kids trying to find them outside. Come on, it's lovely weather to pig out on chocolate, my bride! Though it's a Christian holiday, there's never any mention of Christ. And it would be nice if once in a while, its date weren't spliced! Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, let's go! Is it March this year, I don't know...I've turned into a bunny-mucnhin' ho'. Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, it's neat...there's so much to eat..I'm gonna have the runs until I develop bright red buns! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Oh Christmas Tree - Election Day: Election Day, Election Day It's time to raise our voices Election Day, Election Day Please give us better choices Republicans and Democrats Nominating rich white brats Election Day, Election Day That's why no one rejoices. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)
Let it Snow - Thanksgiving: Oh the weather outside's delightful...Though you prayed it would be frightful...To keep the in-laws out of your face...Drink a case, drink a case, drink a case. (email@example.com)
I'll Be Home For Christmas - Earth Day: I'll be home for Earth Day. You can count on me. I do miss those cows I kiss, and hugging every tree. Earth Day Eve will find me without a date it seems. I'll get laid on Earth Day if only in my dreams. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Oh Christmas Tree - St. Patrick's Day: St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Not an excuse for drinking St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Whatever were they thinking Who needs a reason anyway We all drink like this everyday St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day I need to use the bathroom. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)
Jingle Bells - Independence Day: Extinguisher, extinguisher, where'd I put you away? Oh what fun it is to call 911 when hubby pla-ays? Fireworks falling from his bags, booze is all around...I'll keep my fingers crossed this year, he won't burn our house down. Dashing through the house...to get my first-aid kit...The kids hair I must douse, 'cause I married a nitwit...They all think it's fun...They think he's quite the clown...But when he's finally done, we'll all be ER bound. (email@example.com)
Here Comes Santa Claus - Groundhog Day: Here comes Punxsutawney Phil! Here comes Punxsutawney Phil! Right down Punxsutawney Phil Row! Six more weeks of winter or early spring? All depends on his shadow! Clouds are drifting, people shifting; None are merry if it's bright. It may be in vain, but pray for rain, 'Cause Punxsutawney Phil comes 'fore night. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The co-winner...who gets an origami and a bunch of Rat's Asses...
Jingle Bells - Easter: Easter eggs Easter eggs hidden in the field, baskets full of candy things in plastic neatly sealed. Chocolate treats and loads of sweets, it makes your dentists gay. I don't think this is what they had in mind to celebrate Easter day. (email@example.com)
The winner, who gets that USAA 2006 calendar and even more Rat's Asses...
To the tune of "The Christmas Song," by the late, great Mel Torme, who'll probably turn over in his grave - 4th of July: Burgers frying on an open grill -- Mosquitoes biting through the dew. Seaside carrels hung with wet suits, And folks popping their ninth brew. . . Everybody knows A cherry bomb and an M-eighty Help to turn the sky a-light. Tiny tots with their fuses a-glow Will lose a limb or two tonight. . . Though it's been said that we can't tell a lie: Happy Fourth of Ju-ly! (AuntShecky711@aol.com)
Our prize this time around is movie based...it's a comic book (still in its wrapper) from Sin City. This one is titled Frank Miller's Sin City - A Dame to Kill For...which I'm sure would make nearly as much money as Sin City did if they filmed it. I haven't opened one to see what kind of stuff is in it, but since they were giving them out at Best Buy I would figure they aren't exactly racy inside...altho it does have one of those "Robert Palmeresque...Power Station" drawn chick on the back cover. This swank prize can be yours...IF you win the Tweak this time around. (Photo to follow shortly...and this time we mean it.)
Movies...From Beginning to End
I am not sure if we've done this one before - I don't think we have, so if we have...we're doing it again. What we want you to do is to combine two actual movie titles that fit together ending to beginning and then come up with a plot or tagline for it. You can alter the films a tad to get them to mesh...but nothing monumental. As usual, the more witty, funny, off-the-wall the better. Like we tell you always, if you need help, the Internet Movie Database can help you out immensely...so take advantage of that fact. If the movie is too obscure, please include the actual title. And as usual, if you can weave both actual movie plots into the "new" movie...all the better. Here are a couple examples I came up with below to help you out (hopefully)...
Sling Blade: Trinity: Wesley Snipes stars as a mental patient...who thinks he's a vampire.
Gorillas In the Mystic River: Sigourney Weaver reprises her role as scientist Dian Fossey...but this time when one of her gorillas become a suspect in a killing...she vows to get to the bottom of it before the other gorillas do.
Star War of the Roses: In a galaxy far far away..they were happily married once...