Tweak Of The Week LX: Reunions aka Because Nick At Nite Hasn't Called Yet
(updated 27 Mar 03)

Last week we asked you to think of TV Reunion Shows and what they just might be like if we had anything to do with it.

Different Strokes: Where everyone is reunited in the slammer. They all sit around in orange convict suits and talk about why the hell Arnold never grew up. and they can compare on who received the most felony charges. (

Ozzie & Harriet: Cast members reunite to see if anybody ever figured out what Ozzie did for a living. (

The Monkees: Peter, Mickey, and Davey all try to beg money from Mike Nesmith who is the only one out of the bunch with money. Watch as the boys kiss Mike's ass. (

My Mother The Car..... Jerry Van Dyke and fellow former cast members visit LeRoy's Salvage Yard in Tarzana, California, to commune with the spirit of Agnes Moorhead. After the ceremony, Jerry has the car towed to become part of the Big Lots inventory. (

Gilligan's Island: As if they would really want to hold a reunion after being stranded together on that island for all that time (

The Gong Show: Chuck Barris polishes the gong one more time. Hauls in living and near living original panel members for a reunion. New switch here, instead of gonging bad acts..They are CIA exterminated by Agent Chuckie. (

Hogan's "Whoroes": Any woman even remotely connected to the series about the WW II prison camp (i.e., bit players, hairdressers, crew, etc.) get together to discuss what a total perv Bob Crane was. (

My Mother The jump started for a reunion show. This dinosaur dawg was one of Jerry Van Dykes first wrong moves. In keeping with His current "Big Lots" dept store commercials, He brings in Several Big old mothers...and Lots of old cars! (

Facts of Life: See how much Natalie, Jo, Blair and Tootie have plumped out since the 80's in "The Facts of Life Reunion: From The Cradle To The Gravy Boat". (

Gilligan's Island: Those wacky castaways are at it again on a reunion show featuring the remaining cast members and their lawyer. Discussion revolves around their current lawsuit against CBS over the Survivor series. Their claim: Look, we were the coconut thing before these people were even born. (

The winner of those two CDs and beads:

Voyage to The Bottom of The Sea: Richard Basehart and David Hedison sit and grouse about how their acting wasn't any more wooden than Shatner's or Nimoy's, but THEY never get any friggin' fan conventions! Exciting conclusion in which clips from "The Brothers Karamazov" are aired and viewers get to vote on who was the bigger stiff, Shatner or Basehart. (

The prize this week is pretty kitschy...well, it's to speak. It's a Tyco set of kid's plastic "Italian Pasta Dinnerware"...very tiny, mind you. "A complete dinner set for 4! 32 fun pieces!" proclaims. Basically I think it's a pretty lame prize...but if you know a little girl who is out of the "put stuff in their mouth" phase...this just might be the prize for you. Hey, they all can't be winners...but it is still in its sealed plastic, and probably would fetch a whopping $1.02 on eBay....if you're lucky. Hell, I'm going to pay more to ship this thing to you than it's worth...but it can be yours for winning the new Tweak.

The Song Remains The Same...or Not

This Tweak should be fun I think. It was suggested in some form by two and, so they both shall get origami creations for their Tweak idea. What we want you to do is to take a celebrity of some renown, living or dead, and pick a song that might just end up being "their song". You can change the title some...or leave it as it is - altho more points for creativity will be given to those who do alter the title. Of course, the wittier, funnier, more off-the-wall, the better. If you could also include the original song title with it, we would gladly appreciate it, as some people (including myself) don't know everything that's out there on the airwaves. Here are a couple examples below...courtesy of the person listed.

Michael Jackson: I Let My Son Go Down on Me (Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me) (

Robert Downey, Jr.: Cocaine (Cocaine) (

Pete Rose: You Betcha I Bet (You Better You Bet) (Me)

Just to let you know - this Tweak will be updated on Sunday, 6 bring it back around to the usual Sunday updates.