Tweak Of The Week LXV: The Name Game
(Updated 18 May 03)
Last week we had asked you to come up with a product, which based on name alone, would sell. We had some pretty good ones as you can plainly see.
Flip burgers or backhand your sassy kids with: The Bratula. (email@example.com)
Special Pizza..delivered by macho handcuff and whip-wielding babes in black leather undies: Domino'strix Pizza. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)
A fan that oscillates and sprays a light mist of sea water into the air for that at the beach aroma its name: The Seaulator (firstname.lastname@example.org)
A portable cooking device that's mounted to a bicycle: The George Mormon Grill (email@example.com)
The May Tricks Calendar: Wrongly positioned days and numbers for the floral month...Get even with your practical joking friends, today. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)
A device used to assist scratching where you don't want to put your hand which also records the history of any nearby Native American tribes: The Scrotum Pole (WillyTheTunaFish@aol.com)
Now you too can reach those hard to get places with "The Hooker". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The Lazy Snoozin: A revolving circular king-size bed...it has no bad side. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)
Dewalt's new pink tool line: The Screw Her! (JayHawkWDS@aol.com)
SPITE: The lemon-lime soft-drink: It tastes bitter, because you are bitter. (email@example.com)
Poon Tang: The great orange breakfast drink combined with Spanish Fly. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
A small counting device that plays music from the 1970's: An Abbacus (email@example.com)
The winner of the freezeable drink hugger and the Simple Plan CD sampler:
Trojan Horse Condoms: Once they're inside then the fun begins! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The prize for this week's Tweak is a small silver metal photo frame...it measures 4 1/2" x 2 1/2" inches. On the upper portion, it has an embossed bear being drifted up into the air holding 3 balloons...like this apparently happens constantly in real life, as I have seen several other depictions of the same scenario. It looks pretty much in new condition...has a few scratches near the bottom - but you'd have to really be looking for them...and honestly, who wants to get that close to it anyway? Seriously tho, this would be a nice little thing to give a child - or someone who is into bears...or balloons...or frames...uh, you get the picture. Win this time around...and this little beauty will be yours.
Old Time Rock and Roll
Well, summer is fast approaching, and with that we see a bunch of "where are they now" bands hitting the concert circuit. Case in point...Peter Frampton will be coming to Montgomery's Jubilee Cityfest here over the Memorial Day weekend. So that got me thinking...what would aging musicians change their lyrics to now? Now, we aren't looking for changing the song TITLE...as we've done that one before...we are looking for lyrics this time around. So, take part of a group's/singer's lyrics (the person doesn't necessarily have to be old already...so you can pick on the likes of Britney if you want)...change it somewhat...describing something to do with the aging process...and send it in. Please remember to include the artist's name and song title with the altered lyric...to help us old folks out. Again, the sillier, wittier, more off-the-wall, the better. Here are a couple examples below I came up with to get you started.
Peter Frampton -- Do You Feel Like We Do: Woke up this morning with a wine glass in my hand. Whose wine? What wine? Alzheimer's destroying my mind.
The Who -- My Generation: People try to put us down...talking about degeneration.