Update From Last Week's Contest: To Name HMO's "Points":

Well, the votes have been tallied...and "Rat's Asses" seems to be the clear winner for the name of our HMO "points". Those of you who expressed concern that "Rat's Asses" are not exactly "dignified"...feel free to refer to them as "RA's". Therefore, as kaylor@mail.com so eloquently stated, "We shall now be the one HMO who does in fact give a 'rat's ass'."

That given the case, Kidproton@hotmail.com wins the coveted "Pear Ripening Bag"...and Moosespeak@earthlink.net and rodentsRred@hotmail.com each win an origami creation.

Due to a hectic weekend, we are going to update Tweak on Wednesday, 6 Aug 03, this time around.

Tweak Of The Week LXXIII: Cheap Skills
(Updated 27 Jul 03)

Last week we asked you to come up with cheapskate and/or miserly ideas which could stretch your dollar far further than originally intended.

First off, we have a couple smartasses...whose entries hit a little too close to home...

If you can't afford napkin rings... get an old dowel, saw off a 2" slice, drill out the center and paint to look like a shrimp. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

Give out Pear Bags as prizes. (casstigator@yahoo.com) This one, I must say, is brilliant, tho. The idea...not the entry...sheesh! ;)

Don't throw away that nearly empty peanut butter jar! Add some hot water, mix thoroughly, and put it into a spray bottle. You'll never buy Pam again! (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

Don't buy an exterior light for your house or pay exorbitant prices for electricity, just place a jar of fireflies by the front door! (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

If your friend invites you to go fishing and he doesn't have an extra pole, just take some of his fishing line and wrap it around an empty soda can and shove a stick through the can.- instant fishing pole! (It works, I've done it.) (Jokerzgirl77@aol.com)

Rinse out your used paper towels and hang them on your clothes line to dry (or tumble dry in a dryer) and then re-use. (trekmeister@conwaycorp.net)

Make your favorite recipe while borrowing all the ingredients from a neighbor or friend. One ingredient at a time. (watch4whales@yahoo.com)

Soap Scum is made of soap, Don't wash it down the drain, why not scrape some off your shower door and enjoy the clean fresh feeling of homemade soap. (dannyboy4343@aol.com)

If it's your job to bring the ice to the family picnic, stop by a few motels (of if you're feeling adventurous, hotels) on the way and raid their ice machines. (chaucer101@aol.com)

If going to an open bar wedding, take a flask with you. This way, you can order shots of tequila, and you can fill up your flask. Plus, your friends will be impressed by the amount of alcohol you've "consumed." (lhill@maguiregroup.com)

Tissues can be used over and over if you leave them dry out and just use the soft spots still available. Ten times is my record. (NITRAMXXX@AOLCOM)

Now, from my childhood, I distinctly remember someone picking their teeth with the corner of the matchbook, but am not 100% certain if I've ever witnessed what our runner-up (who wins an origami creation) came up with...

Forget buying dental floss, use the pully thing that opens your cigarette packs! (tackajoey@aol.com)

The winner of both the Fingertight sampler CD and that "lovely" shrimp napkin ring...

Next Halloween, save money on treats. Just sweep the floor of your local movie theater. (MrglsJon@aol.com)

In celebration of our HMO "Rat's Asses" point's name...we are going to give away something of Rodentia significance. Yes, okay, we've tried to give this thing away now a couple of times, but it did seem especially apropos this time around. A two-pack of "Victor EasySet Mouse Traps"...they are made in the USA and are pre-baited, with what I can only deduce as a slice of mock-swiss plastic cheese...possibly steeped in the essence of cheese. And we all know the power of cheese... (I would insert an ego-stroking reference about my winning the 2003 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest with my romance/string cheese entry...but I won't). Anyway, this prize can be yours if you win this week's Tweak.

Campaign Wishes...and Caviar Dreams

I came up with this contest on the drive home from Decatur, Alabama last nite...so this proves that Tweak contest ideas can manifest themselves in the strangest places...so therefore, you could come up with one as well (hint hint). I figured that if Arnold Schwarzenegger can run for public office, anyone could...and that's just the basis for this week's Tweak. Pick a famous person, living or dead...but they must not be fictitious... and come up with a political campaign slogan for them. Simple as that. Below are a few examples I came up with in case you still need some guidance.

Marion Barry For President: Let Him Have a "Crack" At It

Pamela Anderson: The Breast...er... Best Candidate

Linda Lovelace: Deep Throat...Only This Time Without Watergate