Tweak Of The Week LXXVII: Mergers That Just Won't Yield
(Updated 11 Sep 03)

Last week we asked you to take two or more companies/products/etc., and combine them to come up with a new company name that would be less than marketable. We definitely got some good ones and the choosing was again quite difficult.

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific = Gee, I Can't Believe Your Hair Smells Like Butter (

Pringles and Heinz Dill Pickles = Prickles (

Nike and Reebok = Nikkerbokers (

Just Brakes and Windex = Brake Wind (

Hefty trash bags and Johnson & Johnson = Hefty Johnson (

Dun & Bradstreet and Diehl, Inc. = Dun Diehl (

Fuji Film and Circle-K corporations have merged to become Fu-CK (

Bennigan's and HasBro = HasBen (


Microsoft and Burger King = Microburger (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

TransMedia Productions and Campbell's New England Clam Chowder = Clam Media (Chlamydia) (

Maker of "Sheer Energy" pantyhose and maker of "No Nonsense" pantyhose = "Sheer Nonsense" (

Doublemint Gum and Global Crossing = Double Crossing (

Hershey's Kisses, Mrs. Butterworth syrup, Just My Size clothing = Kiss My Butt (

Jax cheese curls and Off bug spray = Jax-off (

Rent-a-Wreck and Tums = Wreck Tums (and I wouldn't want to rent them) (

Harley-Davidson, Hartford Insurance, Hard Rock Cafe = Harley-Har-Har (

Airwick Freshener and Head & Shoulders = Airhead (

The Disney Company and Maytag = Dismay (

Hoosier Tire and Mamma Roma, Ltd. = Hoosier-mamma (

Our runner-up, who wins an origami creation of their choice...

Mother's Cookies and Smucker's Jam = Mother Smuckers (

Our winner, who wins the automobile window US flag...

Humana Health Insurance and Americares = HuCares (

The prize this time around is a scünci hair clip. By the way, "scünci", I believe is Norwegian for "Ouch, the hell does this thing work??" Hey, we have some of their hair "doodles" (as I call them) here that we can NOT open altho the directions say you can...therefore we know of what we speak. Anyway, this has never been has tho, been "tried"...which means we gave up on it. Perhaps you know someone without bone straight hair that it can function in...but since my daughter's is...and since cut short, we were going to just toss it out, but since I do need stayed. It has been washed off, so no "cooties" should be on it - and, like I said, after about 5 minutes we gave up on it and never used it anyway. This prize can be yours if you win this week's Tweak. (Photo to follow shortly.)

Questions...Not Answers III

The Tweak this time is the third offering we've done...okay, we like it...a lot. What you are to do is to play our form of "Jeopardy!"...we supply the answers (below) come up with a witty, funny, strange, etc., question for it. Do one or do them other words, feel free to send as many as you want. Still confused...or never watched Jeopardy!...then look below the list for my two examples...which I did to curtail the obvious replies to those (always thinking I am....sorta). Thanks go out to Jankath for coming up with the first seven here. Please remember to include the "answer" with your "question".

Love is a many splintered thing

With sex you get eggrolls

Just add chocolate

Too good to be shrew

The gift of flab

Drop and give me 20

Because it was on fire

Yo ho ho and a bottle of Rumsfeld

Because it wasn't there

Mourning Becomes Carmen Electra

Body piercings but never tattoos

Midget Freak Boa

Definitely a waste of good skin

Twin Peaks of Otter

I Do I Do I Guess

Not exactly a James Michener novel

The new Mattel Barbie-Q

Totally a-maize-ing

Sommelier, more whine please

Sharon Stone Cold Steve Austin

To catch a falling star

Yu-Gi-Oh Yoko

Crash Test Yummies


With sex you get eggrolls: What's the special they offer at (PhotoLaugh's) Phat Phuc's Noodle restaurant?

Love is a many splintered thing: What did Pinocchio's date say after sex?