Tweak Of The Week LXXX: Defining Moment II
(Updated 19 Oct 03)

Last time around we had asked you to take an actual word, then only adding, subtracting or changing one letter, come up with a whole new word and a definition based on it. We had a bunch of good ones in my opinion and it took a while to come up with the overall winner, as quite a few were in contention.

Wingspan -- Windspan: the maximum radial distance that any one specific release of passed gas expands outwardly to before the smell becomes undetectable. (

Heinie -- Sheinie: The appearance of your boss's backside after three years of trying to impress. The third stage after butt-kissing and brown-nosing. (

Bling Bling -- Blang Blang: J-Lo's engagement ring...Past tense? (

Gesticulate -- Jesticulate: What a class clown would do to draw attention to himself back in feudal times. (

Surname -- Slurname: Every politician has one (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

Cooking -- Fooking: Cooking for someone with the intent of having sex with them afterwards. (

Namesake -- Namesafe: Term for checking the status of an Internet domain name you wish to register and discovering that it's available. (

Electorate -- Erectorate: California voters who are voting for porn actress, Mary Carey. (

Recall -- Precall: A political "testing the water" before formally announcing one's legal overthrow of an elected office. (

Science -- Scilence: The way a politician reacts when you explain a difficult environmental concept to them. (

Leftovers -- Deftovers: The art of making food a day old taste really good. (

Disgusting -- Disguesting: Term for the type of behavior on the host's part that makes all the guests want to leave. (

Interlock -- Interclock: The point in a relationship in which the woman demands a commitment based solely on the drying up of her eggs. (

Governor -- Governot: Gray Davis' new title as of the election. (

Computer -- Conputer: The source of all those Nigerian email scams. (

Relationship -- Relationslip: Behavior that results in marital discord. (

Orgasm -- Borgasm: Term for a fake orgasm used to conclude sexual activity that is less than stimulating. (

Mammaries -- Memmaries: Trying to remember what they were like before they sagged to belt-high. (

Impatient -- Impotient: Term used to describe the state of mind of an impotent man waiting for his Viagra to kick-in. (

Religion -- Meligion: The ability to worship ones self. (

Intercourse -- Entercourse: What you have to do before actual intercourse begins. (

Ubiquitous -- WBiquitous: In which the same stupid programming ideas are all over a TV network's schedule. (

Humor -- Humore: When one thing is funnier than an other. (

Calamari - Callamari: Phoning in an order for sushi. (

Our runner-up, who will receive an origami creation of their choice (from our extensive list)...

Phlebitis -- Plebitis: Freshman at the US Naval Academy are inflamed by the vain behavior of upperclassmen who are always trying to get a leg up on them. (

The winner...who wins that little stuffed "Get Well" bear...

Quandary -- Quandairy: Being perplexed at what kind of milk to buy. (

The prize this time around fits in perfectly with our Halloween-based Tweak, as it is pretty darned scary if you ask me. We still don't really know the purpose of this...but it seems to be a kind of Mardi Gras inspired doll...either that or Cirque du Soleil. It stands about 6 inches tall - not including the feathers or the pillow-looking thing which used to be glued down but is now just dangling by a silver string. Hey, I told you it was scary. I am sure you can hang it from the Christmas tree - or give it away to someone who likes odd dolls. Anyway, this prize can be yours if you win the Tweak this time around.

Scary Movie With A Twist

We thought we'd take advantage of Halloween coming up to do a scaryish-type of Tweak. Since we'd done epitaphs before not too far in the recent past, we decided a different angle would be we figured to go with an old standby to draw from: movies and TV shows. What we want you to do is to combine two (or more if you'd like) movies/TV shows to come up with a whole new one...then give a new plot to newly created one. The Halloweeny-type catch here is that one of the movies has to be in the scary/horror-type genre. The better the movie's titles and combined plots flow together, the more brownie-points you will score. Feel free to combine the titles anyway you'd like...beginning, middle, end...just as long as they are combined in some way. Going to one of my favourite "haunts"...will help you come up with films galore if you are lacking in cinematic prowess.... The Internet Movie Database (IMDb) . Really confused by now? Here are three films below I came up with to hopefully help you along.

DracuLA Confidential: An all-nite diner is the place where the mob stumbles upon someone who is really out for blood.

Mighty Joe Young Frankenstein: Bits and pieces of a dead giant ape are used to really make Elizabeth sing about the Sweet Mystery of Life.

I Know What You Did Last Summer of '42: Three coming-of-age adolescents try to get laid - and one ends up falling in love with an older woman...scary, huh?