Tweak Of The Week XCIV: Take ONE Of These...(add/subtract/or change) and Call Me In The Morning
(Updated 17 Jun 04)
Last time around...many, many days ago, we asked you to take an actual drug name...add/remove or change only one letter and come up with a whole new drug name...and a new reason why it's prescribed. You guys came up with some great ones...as anyone can plainly see.
Ortho-evra - Ortho-4evra: Because the bozo doesn't want to get his tubes tied! (email@example.com)
Aleve - Alove: Ladies, are you bothered by those annoying "headaches" that seem to show up every time your husband is feeling amorous? Take two Alove and the pain is gone. Now, when he's ready, so are you. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Diazepam - Dieazepam: Too many of these and need I say more. (email@example.com)
Bayer - Layer: Also see Viagra, Cialis, Levitra. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Viagra - Niagra: You say you took three Viagra because you wanted to give her a little something extra, and now you've been sporting a trouser tent for the last two days? Try Niagra, the Viagra antagonist, it'll take you to a cushioned splashdown and you won't have to wear a barrel. Niagra, because what goes up must come down! (email@example.com)
Tylenol - Stylenol: Take as directed for bad hair days. Consult your doctor for all other fashion emergencies. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Robitussin - Ribitussin: Helps clear up that frog in your throat. (email@example.com)
Advil - Cadvil: Take to relieve pain and pressure of late HMO updates. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
Wellbutrin - Sellbutrin: A new antidepressant for shopaholics who can't find enough bargains. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Advil - Anvil: For those headaches you get when your Acme anvil backfires and lands on you instead of the roadrunner. (email@example.com)
Viagra - Biagra: The potency pill for the ACDC set. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Cantil - Cantel: Is it working, or isn't it? Cantel! (HerzogVon@aol.com)
Paxil -Taxil: Just for depression on April 15th. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
Celebrex - Celebrix: For relief of pain, inflammation, and stiffness due to extended periods of masonry work. (email@example.com)
Viagra - Vigagra: Kill two birds with one stone! Improve your erection and silence your wife's constant complaining of being unsatisfied. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
NoDoze - CoDoze: Keeps two really boring people awake until they get home from their blind date. (email@example.com)
Paxil - Paxill - People will be sick of hearing how much better you feel. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Prozac - Prozack: Taken by Mark Paul Gosselaar to relieve depression caused by the negative impact being on "Saved By the Bell" has had on his career. See also: Urkelanin, Screechenol, and Bradymenophen. (email@example.com)
Viagra - Viagrab: Both an erectile enabler and an inhibition remover. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Bayer Aspirin - Gayer Aspirin: Same as regular aspirin but it comes in a neat little color coordinated carrying case. (email@example.com)
Zoloft - Zolost: How you'll feel if you overdose. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Viagra - Niagra - Helps boost the output of feminine lubrication. (email@example.com)
Lovastatin - Lovastartin: Reduce cholesterol buildup to improve sexual response. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Prozac - Prezac: A proactive drug to take when you think you're going to be depressed or anxious in the near future, i.e., your 20-year high school reunion, a Thanksgiving weekend with the whole family, your court appearance on that bullsh*t "drunk and disorderly" charge, etc. Only Prezac makes you forget about your problems before you even have them! (email@example.com)
Alka Seltzer - Alka Setzer: Relieves acid indigestion caused by listening to "Stray Cat Strut." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Morphine - Morphing: A classic pain killer that changes your perspective on things just a bit. (email@example.com)
Indomethacin - Indymethacin: A drug to reduce the inflammation of the gout that painfully reminds you that you're too old to play Indiana Jones again. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)
Bufferin - Blufferin: The only medication to effectively relieve psychosomatic headache symptoms. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Valium - Volium: Got a nagging spouse or a boss who just won't get off your case? Take two Volium, and the voices in your head will be amplified to the point where you won't be able to hear a word they're saying. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
Pepcid - Pepci: For relief of indigestion caused by too many cola drinks. (email@example.com)
Zoloft - Zolofty: Lifts you so far out of depression you'll need downers. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Enzyte - Enbyte: Take one of these to help get your computer to boot up, when your hard drive just isn't working anymore. (email@example.com)
Well, I decided upon two co-winners, who will both receive origami creations of their choice...
Pepto Bismol - Pesto Bismol: Relieves nausea due to eating Italian food. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Neosporin - Neosborin: For those falling asleep during the Matrix related injuries. (KatSut78@aol.com)
The winner, who not only gets how many ever Rat's Asses I dole out for this (it's been a while, I'm going to have to look it up)...but also that Lord of the Rings PCCD Demo thingy...
Dramamine - Dramaqine: If you feel dizzy or nauseous during everyday events, take two tablets every hour. If symptoms persist, discontinue product use and seek the attention of anyone who will listen to your hissy fits. (email@example.com)
I wanted to keep the prize this time around geared to the Tweak, so I thought a movie trivia book would be in line. The book I speak of is lying around in the small playroom/reptile room and I can't go rummaging around in there as I'm not allowed to turn on the light (it would disrupt the reptiles and basically I would be chastised by my son for doing so). So, I will find it sometime tomorrow and get the details typed up here for all to read. All I can say is that I bought it new a few years ago, and it is by far the hardest movie trivia book I ever read...yes, you will know stuff that you will forget the next day if you read this book...but it can be yours if you win this Tweak.
Well, I found the book but since you can probably read the whole title, I'm not going to waste my or your time by typing it here again...this is the book and it can be yours if you win this Tweak. And yes, there will be a quiz afterwards if you win.
Sex Change Movies (Part 1)
This new contest was inspired by something that Witsend@sevinex.com sent in...so, due to that, they will still receive an origami creation of their choice for their suggestion. Now we all know there are guy films and girl films...and you pretty much can tell the first 15 minutes into one, which category it falls under. Basically if you turn to the male in the room and they are still awake after 15 minutes, it's a guy film...if they aren't...well, you do the math. Yes, I am rather categorizing all males here, but we need you to do just that for this next Tweak. What we want you to do this time around is to take a typical "Chick Flick" and masculinize it. How we want you to accomplish this is to alter the title just a tad to make it more of a guy film...and then change the plot to something more guy-like as well. Keeping the original plot-line somewhat but making it now geared to the opposite sex will earn you more bonus points. We don't need any overly wordy plots here...just something that would get the point across without being as long as the film itself. Now, since not everyone's idea of a "Chick Flick" will be the same, I am going to rely on your best judgement...but if you say something like "Blade"...I will personally come to your house and smack you.
Please put the original film title along with the altered one...I'm good, but I'm not that good to figure them all out.
Next time around we will do the male to female version...so, please, only the female to male version this time.
Here are a couple examples below that I came up with...not the best mind you, but I'm sure you will get the idea from them if you still need it.
Howards End - Howard's Friend: Howard's rich friend has a cottage he just rented out to two middle-class sisters for the summer...sexy, wild, social climbing sisters, that is. But the guys aren't going to be taken in that easily...someone's going to pay the price...but not before a bunch of raucous fun ensues.
You've Got Mail - You've Got Male: Joe and Kathleen had never met...in person that is...but they have a steamy online relationship going. Well, things really heat up when they finally do meet in person...especially when Joe finds out that Kathleen owns a strip club and she finds out that Joe is her star headliner.